love with wild abandon

I do not write a blog because I think I am- in Rory Gilmore’s words- the next Christiane Amanpour. I do not write a blog because I think I am some creative genius, on the contrary I am not. I also willingly admit that I am not, nor will I ever be Christiane Amanpour, as it is not my mission in life to become a world renowned author or reporter. In fact, I do not even write a blog for others to read, as I do not find it necessary to tweet an advertisement on my own behalf (not that I think there is anything wrong with doing so, I encourage you to do so if you are ready for others to practice legilimency on you). 

But enough about me.... However, technically, “enough about me” is not exactly a plausible transition phrase for a blog entitled “ashley anna.” (my first and middle name for anyone who is finding my stream of consciousness difficult to follow)

I have always been a diary kind of girl. There are at least six or seven notebooks hidden away somewhere, packed with the extreme adolescent emotions I was so prone to in my youth. Luckily, I have developed the ability to be what I like to refer to as emotionless................................ If you know me, (which if you do not, I am not sure how you ever stumbled across this hidden blog) you would know that is a fairly significant lie. I consider myself one of the fortunate few to love and love with wild abandonment. I am always ready to fully give my heart to any friend who shows the potential of giving it the TLC it deserves. When I am happy, happiness takes over me from my core. I cannot hide the joy when it spills out of my heart.

Sadly enough, I have always been this way when it comes to unhappy matters of the heart as well. Perhaps it is my uncanny ability to love hard that will lead to my unfortunate downfall. Especially when the situation involves someone I love dearly causing any kind of emotional pain, I am crushed. I put up a wall and forgiveness does not come easy. Maybe Voldemort was on to something when he built up followers rather that friends...

That being said, my goal for the day is to no longer wallow in self-pity. Easier said than done? Maybe, but placement tests have always shown me that I can succeed at anything I choose to accomplish. What better way to do this than to find a quote that embodies my feelings in regard to my, well, feelings. So, in an homage to my current obsession with Mark Twain, I will leave you with a quote that I (at this moment in time) find inspiring.

Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.

todays "lightbulb" moments

• preparing for something does not always mean you are fully prepared
• teaching might be an awkward job for someone who does not always have the right words to say. oh who are we kidding, it IS an awkward job for those who do not always have the right words to say.
• i will always be awkward, but i like it
• skipping church to sleep in is okay to do every now and then
• making a poster makes everything more exciting (back to that old teaching thing again)
• school supplies make the world go round (lets be real, i have always known this one)
• criticism comes with authority
• nothing stings worse than a hateful attitude from someone you love
• cold shoulder accomplishes nothing, even if it feels like the right thing to do at the time
• smashed cherry chocolate hershey kisses are sticky and the make a mess
• purple is a magnificent color

last but not least...

• Dumbledore definitely groomed his beard 

things i find myself disinterested in

1. the person in class who thinks they know more than the professor
2. broccoli quiche
3. cheese  and other dairy products (yogurt not-included)
4. WhEn PeOpLe TyPe LiKe ThIs
5. the strange assortment of “food” our cook prepares for us
6. having so many food related items on this list
7. Slytherin (and their affiliates) 
8. people who act like their own obsessions are the only acceptable ones
9. Twilighters (Twilight as a secondary obsession is acceptable)
10. “loving” the movies without “reading” the books (you know what series I am talking about)
11. too many details
12. toilet seats left in the upward position
13. poor internet connection
14. loud noises
15. Bellatrix Lestrange (how could she kill Sirius like that?)

small town wisdom

Being cooped up in a small town for three weeks leaves a city-girl-at-heart plenty of time to consider the world around her. That small town is sayre, and that city girl is me.

Coming from a town like Sayre, I haven’t always had to give 100% to excel at what I do- sports are NOT included in this generalization, as I often let it be known that athletics or coordination in general are no strong points of mine. Even still, it is not difficult to be the best at something when you are only competing against thirty or forty other people. Graduating from Sayre with anything less than a 4.0 was not even within the realm of options. Valedictorian was a given. Imagine my shock when I realized I would have to work to graduate college with honors as planned!

Three semesters into my education at Hogwarts, er, UCO, I have come to a few conclusions.

1. Magic is real. Muggles will never understand, but this is not the 16th century. There is no need to burn people with magical blood at the stake.

2. It may not be the 16th century, but existing in Small Town, USA is somewhat like traveling back in time. I say we all get a magic wand and do the Time Warp again.

3. It is easy to look responsible when graduating high school without progeny is considered a success. In the grown up world, there comes a time when actual responsibility is no longer an option- a time when the decisions I make affect, not only me, but all of the people involved in my life. 

So now I can either continue to live life hoping that good things happen to fall in my favor, or I can use this wisdom to do everything in my power to ensure that life is good for not only me, but also the people I love the most. From this point forward, I choose to stop being the supporting actress in my own life. Every day I will make a point to learn something new and unexpected about someone new and unexpected. Every day I will make the decision to love and be loved. Every day I will be happy.